|
Relationships are a major aspect of our lives. We often define ourselves in relationship to others: we say we are someone’s employee, someone’s spouse, someone’s daughter, a brother, a sister, a friend. When relationships are going well, we feel secure in the comfortable security net they weave. If a major relationship begins to suffer, it can affect every aspect of our lives.
People have written about relationships for years. Some of the greatest literature in the world tells the story of relationships: between leaders and followers, between friends, between enemies, between lovers. The systematic or scientific examination of relationships is not so old. In fact, it is only in modern times that communication theory has come into existence and only since the 1950s that the fields of marital and family therapy have become prominent.
Almost all relationship problems are based in poor communication. Sometimes an imbalance of power or resources makes a relationship impossible. Sometimes differences in values make a relationship impossible. However, if two people both want to improve a relationship, improvements can nearly always be made.
If a serious or troubling problem exists between husband and wife, marital therapy may be may be indicated. If the problem exists between a child and parent or parents, family therapy may be indicated. Those usually close-knit relationships are central to our well being. Marital and family therapists specialize in communication. Their training includes extensive knowledge of human development, family structure and mental health.
A good marital or family therapist will tell you that blaming one spouse or the other is not very useful. Most husbands and wives, parents and children want good relationships. However, they may not have found a way to communicate in such a way as to be heard. They may not realize the impact of their words or actions. They may not have found the right words to explain their fears. They may want something that will harm the other person’s growth or sense of well-being.
In good marital or family therapy, the "patient" is the marital relationship or the family relationship. Rather than taking sides, the therapist puts the relationship first. He or she works to correct communication that has broken down, to restore respect and to clarify appropriate roles within the family.
In the unfortunate case of divorce, mediation, a specialized form of dispute resolution, may occur. Mediators do their best to protect all parties in a divorce proceeding and minimize any damage done by the dissolution of the marriage.
Efforts to improve communication skills outside the home are also increasing. Many schools are teaching students communication skills and conflict resolution. Many workplaces are instituting communication seminars and conflict management training.
If you think you think you may benefit from marital or family therapy, or have a friend or relative who needs a referral, you can discuss treatment options by calling the Stressline at (317) 338-4800.
Disclaimer: This material is intended for the purpose of general education. It is not comprehensive. It will not substitute for the evaluation and intervention of a mental health professional. |
