The role of caregiver is one of great importance, especially when it comes to providing care for a loved one. It can be rewarding and overwhelming all at once. You will wear many hats and do many jobs. As a caregiver, you also are a teacher, nurse, secretary, money manager, housekeeper, chauffeur and counselor¡Xin addition to your primary role as spouse, child, sibling or friend.

Many people find it uncomfortable to visit someone who is ill. It may seem boring or depressing with little to talk about other than health issues and current news. However, for patients, visits can be uplifting and provide interesting and stimulating time for them¡Xas well as a distraction from all their health concerns.

Use the suggestions below to make your time (and theirs) more enjoyable.

• Keep visits short and at a time when your loved one is functioning best. A few short visits are much more pleasant than a long one. Set a time period for your visit.

•  Bring another family member or friend. Communication is often easier if there is a new person present, especially if one person finds it difficult to communicate or find things to talk about.

• Bring photographs or other tangible objects to stimulate memories and reminisce with one another.

•  Bring reading materials and news articles. If the individual can¡¦t read them, read to your loved one.

• Bring an old movie to watch together.

•  Bring puzzles and other activities.

• Celebrate special events and have a party.

While your focus is the one you are caring for, remember to take care of yourself as well. Below are some suggestions to help you deal with the day-to-day aspects of caring for someone in need.

• Keep communication open and honest. Open communication can build trust and allows those involved to be more understanding of each other's needs.

• Ask for (and accept) help when you are feeling overwhelmed.

• Try to exercise on a daily basis. It works off anxiety and helps clear your mind.

• Ask another family member or friend to stay with your loved one while you go out to lunch, a movie or shopping so you can have a break.

• Share your feelings with someone you trust.

• Talk about your hopes and your fears. You will gain strength from one another to do what is needed.

• Join a support group with other caregivers.

• Ask questions constantly and find the answers you need.

•  Remember that you are the expert on your loved one; if you are uncomfortable with a suggestion made to you, work to find another solution.

Coping Styles

An important element in coping is understanding what to expect from the illness, the treatment, yourself, and everyone else. Everybody has his or her own coping style, and so thinking about how you usually function in a crisis, separately and together, can help forestall surprises. Understanding how each family member copes with crisis may help you plan for cancer¡¦s predictable assaults on family life.

Helping Children Adjust to Cancer in the Family

When cancer strikes families with dependent children, parents often want to protect them as long as possible from the harsh ¡§adult¡¨ realities. Or they are so wrapped up in dealing with the illness and treatment that they don¡¦t have time to spend with the children. In any case, even very small children will know that something is terribly wrong. But if they aren¡¦t given an honest explanation, they will arrive at their own conclusions, which spring from their imaginations and immature intellects.